My journey into the world of poetry has been weird to say the least!
I used to write for sports websites (specifically boxing) for about three years, til early 2010. Then in June 2011 I attended my first poetry event. My sole intention that night was to attend and nothing more. Yet while at a music festival the following weekend, I was enveloped in a bubble of fear, doubt & dread. This, coupled with a somatic feeling of internal shaking, could not be placated until I exited the festival .
During a week away, this corrosive bubble of negatively not only surrounded me again, but had multiplied in its effects. At this point, words and thoughts left my subconsciousness and were record by me in written form via the art of poetry. Soon afterwards I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but my stubbornness rejected the idea of me needing any help, be it from friends, family or even professional assistance. So I decided to use the poetry I wrote during that week away as a positive. I used it as a way of expressing feelings which, if been honest, I had deliberately repressed. The two poems I wrote that night were the first poems I performed and have been writing and performing poetry ever since.
Until I started writing poetry, my comfort blanket was my pain. I had known very little else and even though I hid the pain from the majority of people in the outside world, the containment of that emotional pain became very caustic. Poetry for me was a healthier way of helping me release the pain that I was constantly feeling.
I have always been interested in the concepts of reality and identity, in particular the way in which society presents the world to us, via governments and the media. My views are that what we are presented with is just an illusion and that the media as a tool, is used as a way of creating a mirage that the populous buys into. This image is reinforced particularly at a young age via the communication between a parent and a child – parents who have brought into these social norms throughout most of their life and have passed down these norms and conventions to their child. The subject matter in my poems in some ways reflect this and my experience with mental illness, as they tend to be confessional, sociological or, as I’m currently doing a degree in the subject, sometimes psychological. I also believe that no subject should be off limits for a poem or indeed, any form of art. Only its context should be judged.
People may ask why I do this, as it takes a lot of my time, it can cost money when I have to stay in a town or city I am performing in overnight and it may not be considered a ‘normal’ thing to do. But life has taught me that despite what you are told to believe, that you have to do what feels right and what gives you fulfillment, regardless of money. Besides, normality brings familiarity and is too rigid a world to live in, as well as been a boring state of affairs to exist in!
Though my goal is to entertain, I also want people to consider the content of my work. I am not concerned whether or not they have the same opinion as me, but I do want them to think. I am using this blog to post some of my poems and short stories to see what people think of them, as well as post information about any gigs I have done and will be doing in the future.
I also participate in activism and my poetry will at times reflect my political state of mind as well as my views on the injustices that are been perpetually occurring in this world.